Chapter 41: The Reality show model

Every once in a while, I realize that I have been holding onto what could be a great story. Sometimes I completely forget to ever write about them until something randomly reminds me, and for that, I apologize. This is one of those cases. And, it’s all thanks to a TikTok video and a comment I wrote that blew up that reminded me that I have to share this story.


Last year, my friend Vivianne decided to come to visit me in Boston from New York. She spent the weekend with me, and we had a great time. Because it was a FREEZING November weekend, when we got back to my apartment we would usually just hang out to warm up. Vivianne had recently gotten into watching “Love Island UK,” and she decided to get me into it, too. 

Y’all. This show is ADDICTING. I wish it wasn’t because I actually still haven’t finished the season we started watching. I mean, it’s 40+ episodes per season, no joke. 

In any case, Vivianne got me into the mindless entertainment that is Love Island UK. And, because I have an addictive personality, I continued watching it even after she left. This was where I first saw Elliott. 

We watched an earlier season, so I figured that Elliott and I were about the same age, give or take. And Elliott was VERY attractive. Tall, dark features, nice smile, and clearly took care of himself. He also seemed like a pretty chill guy from what I saw. He seemed decent, didn’t take himself too seriously, wasn’t sleazy towards the girls, and wasn’t psychotic. I mean, to be fair, to go on reality TV you have to be at least a little bit crazy. But it didn’t seem like something I couldn’t handle. So, I was extremely surprised when he only lasted a day in the villa. After that, the girls in the house voted to keep another guy in the house over him. But he was so sweet about it! So clearly, I was crushing. 

And if you didn’t know, I do have great Internet sleuthing skills. So, I went on the hunt. First, I found a Love Island Wiki page. Through looking at the season page, I was able to find out his last name. From there, it was very easy to find his Instagram. He had actually become even more attractive from when he was when on the show (I mean, he’s a model) so I followed him right away. I was pleasantly surprised when he almost immediately followed me back. 

Then it was onto the hard part. Getting him to talk to me. He had already liked a few of my photos, so I knew I had that going for me at least. Really, the only thing I could do was start sliding into the DMs. I knew this might be tricker than what I was used to given the fact that he lives in England, is a hot model, and I knew nothing about him. But I was up for the challenge. 


I saw a meme one time about someone joking that when they’re drunk they respond to people’s Instagram stories as if they were personally made for them. But, I don’t have to be drunk for that. I just respond to EVERYTHING for no reason other than that I can. So that’s how it started – with me just responding to a lot of his Instagram stories. He would see and often “like” the messages, but we only had a few very basic conversations from them. I knew I had to up my game. 

I had to download TikTok for work, and had seen this thing called “The Silhouette Challenge.” I was bored, so I decided to make one of my own. (Not nude, though). And one of my friends had a great idea. I should add Elliott to my “Close Friends” list on Instagram, then take everyone else out of that list, and post the finished product to my story – but only for my Close Friends list. So I did. To increase the odds of him seeing it, I even blocked him from seeing my story for a few seconds and then added him back. Apparently, this would make my story would get pushed to the front of the list for him. (Don’t ask how I know this). But even that didn’t work. He didn’t even see it.

Fortunately for me, I apparently didn’t even need to go through all of those steps. The next time I responded to one of his stories with a flirty message, he took the bait and reciprocated. Now I was getting somewhere. 


Photo by Jess Vide on Pexels.com

Elliott and I went back and forth for a bit with some flirting and such, mostly on Snapchat, but it was very clear he wasn’t interested in learning too much about me. Anytime I tried to ask about his life, he’d change the subject. Which was fine – for me, it was just harmless flirting – but he was NOT giving me much to work with. And I get bored way too easily for that. 

I’ve kind of learned that about Taurus men. They’re usually very attractive, are a lot of talk but not a lot of action, and are not very creative when it comes to conversation. Yes, Elliott is very hot, but a girl can only do so much with looks when there isn’t a lot of personality to go with it.

Which I don’t really get. I mean, usually, people who go on reality shows are kind of crazy and have big personalities. And ys, I could say that he just wasn’t that interested in me but remember, I was mostly getting my foot in the door via Instagram story replies. And let me just say that sometimes it was VERY hard to come up with something to say. He just did not give me a lot to work with. I’m not saying he’s boring or has no personality. I’m sure he does and that he’s a lot of fun once you get to know him. But, I just haven’t seen very much of it. Maybe that’s why he only lasted a day on the show. 

He is also a bit too shallow for me I think. One day, he posted something about not working as hard on his core exercises and I said that I didn’t mind that. I actually prefer more of a ‘dad bod’ to a super ripped body. Apparently, all he got from that was “dad bod.” He then got upset thinking I’d said that he has a dad bod. So I had to explain that no, he doesn’t. Still, he stopped talking to me for a few days after that. Sorry, I’ve already experienced having to constantly stroke a man’s ego — and I’m just trying to have some fun here — no, thank you. 

So, while I never really expected anything to happen with Elliott in the first place, beyond some flirting and another funny story that got me some clout on TikTok for a hot second, it definitely isn’t going anywhere. But, it was fun while it lasted.

Plus, I get to add a random reality star to this, and I definitely didn’t plan on that. At this point, though, I feel like just about anything could be in store for me next! I’m manifesting something positively amazing, personally.

Chapter 24: The Rollercoaster

Not as much fun as it sounds.

Well, folks, the time has come. This is the story that I have been dreading writing about ever since I finally decided to bite the bullet and start this blog. 

As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, and like I have mentioned before, I typically use humor to mask my pain – and over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But if you’ve come to love my blog for a laugh or two, some self-deprecation, and my amazing sense of humor, I’ll tell you right now that this chapter is not going to be like the rest. While I will try my best to sneak in a few jokes here and there, this story is still pretty recent, to me at least, and it still hurts a bit, so it might not have the same tone you’ve gotten used to. This is also one of those stories that no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to condense into the usual length of these chapters without feeling like I wasn’t really telling the whole story the way it needs to be told in order to fully understand its impact.

But, what’s just as important to me as being funny and entertaining is being honest, and being real. In this chapter (okay, maybe it’s going to be a bit of a book), I will be 100% real. Sometimes, life sucks, a lot, but that’s just part of being human. To anyone else who’s experienced a particularly crappy heartbreak, you aren’t alone and I hope that this chapter helps you realize that.

So while I already have my big glass of wine to get me through writing this first part (which will most definitely take me at least a few days to finish), and I hope you do, too (I told you to get some ready last week!) – I’ve also taken the liberty of creating a playlist for you to enjoy while reading this chapter since I can already tell that it’s going to be a particularly long one. This playlist is meant to be listened to in the order I have it in to kind of parallel the story itself, but you can totally shuffle if that’s more your thing. If you don’t drink, grab some ice cream, if you don’t like ice cream, I don’t know what to tell you.

Also just a shameless plug for if you want to follow me on Spotify!

Alright, enough with the introduction. As always, all names have been changed to protect privacy. Let’s start the story of The Rollercoaster.


Earlier this year, I was back on Bumble, yet again, but so far had not been having a lot of luck. More than anything, I was just on there for entertainment and the occasional confidence boost, but really, I was kind of enjoying being single. I had finished grad school, I was about to start a cool new job where I’d get to travel, I felt healthy, and I was really happy with my life. 

I had recently read an article about astrology feng shui or something, talking about how your home can impact other areas of your life, so I was kind of taking that into account in my life as well. Not just for romantic reasons, but I felt like I was attracting a lot of positively at that time, and I wanted to keep that going. One of the things they said to do was to clear out clutter and make more space in your home, because more physical space meant you were also making more space for positive things to come into your life – and yes, that’s including love. 

An actually fun rollercoaster.
Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

Then one night in January, I was on Bumble and I ended up matching with Tony. His profile was literally perfect – no fish photos, no games of “guess who?,” good grammar – the works. He was insanely attractive, and seemed like a great guy. He’s a personal trainer and massage therapist, but also teaches kids with special needs, and his profile talked about how much he loves what he does (which is a major turn-on for me considering I’m very over the guys who don’t have any work ethic), and I was extremely excited when I got the alert that we had matched. 

I messaged him and asked him what his favorite food is – amazingly original, I know – but he responded with Italian, so I knew he was a keeper. It turned out that Tony is from the area, but now lives in Arizona, but was visiting Boston for the weekend. He asked me if I’d like to join him for drinks that night, and while for a moment or two I hesitated because I was kind of tired, I did end up saying yes.

However, I did almost end up late to meet because I got very invested in making myself some baked ziti and nearly thought about canceling, but something kept telling me that I couldn’t bail on this one. So, I ate my ziti very quickly, freshened up, and was on my way to the hotel he was staying at to meet him for some drinks.

I texted him that I was there, and he said he would come downstairs. The second I saw him, I froze. I have honestly never experienced anything like that before. I would say it’s kind of like the feeling I get when I unexpectedly see a picture of Liam Hemsworth and am reminded of how ridiculously sexy he is, but it was so much more. All my pre-date nerves immediately disappeared. I felt safe, I felt comfortable, I felt like this was it. This is what I’d been waiting for. I know that on the rare occasion when I fall for someone, I can fall hard but I swear I have never felt it so strongly or so quickly with anyone ever before. The way he smiled at me, I honestly felt like maybe he was feeling the same thing. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced. 

We sat down at the bar and ordered drinks, and immediately the conversation started flowing. I told him about having recently finished grad school, the job I was about to start, my family, and studying for the LSAT. He told me about his family – including his many sisters – and his job, what brought him to Arizona, and more. I will be the first to admit that I have NEVER been a big fan of Boston accents, but oh my goodness – his is perfect. I was hanging on his every word not just because I was already so into him but because I loved the way he said everything. We had a lot in common, he made me laugh, he laughed at my dumb jokes and sarcasm, and overall we were hitting it off. Really, I felt like I’d known him for years. He was genuinely interested in what I had to say, too, which was a breath of fresh air. 

He asked me if I wanted to come out with his friends after we finished our drinks, since they were in town and he wanted to see them, too, but he wanted to spend time with me since he was heading back to Arizona the next day. I agreed, so we went up to his room where I met one of his friends, we hung out there for a bit, and then headed over to Earl’s in the Prudential Center to meet the rest of his friends.

I liked them immediately. They all seemed so nice, and not at all put off by him bringing some random girl along – which I would have totally understood if they didn’t like. They welcomed me, made me feel comfortable and not like an outsider, and they seemed to really like Tony and think of him as a good guy. We all got along, so it was a good night and it made me feel even more comfortable with everything. I also thought it was absolutely adorable that he kept bragging about me to his friends and making them congratulate me on having just finished grad school.

As the night went on, and I had a couple of Moscow Mules (with gin instead of vodka – try it, I got Tony to and he liked it) in me, the liquid courage started coming out. Earlier, I had asked Tony if he wanted to see my apartment after drinks because I was talking about my rooftop views, and he said yes. Our chairs started to get a little closer, hands started getting touching under the table, and I was really excited. Not in a sexual sense, in a, “I really want to get to know him better” kind of way. Finally, he and his friends were talking about something they all had to do the next day and I leaned in and asked him if he was still coming to my place after. He said yes, after we were all done. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just the connection I was already feeling, but I got a surge of boldness and whispered to him, “Oh, but I kind of want to go now.” With that, he told his friends we had to go and said good night. I told them goodbye and thanked them for letting me crash their evening, and we headed out.

On our way to the Uber, I said something about being an Empath, I don’t remember why, and he said he knew. I asked how he knew I was an Empath and he said that he’s one, too. I warned him that this does mean I’m prone to crying and feeling all the feels, and he said that was okay. He understood and said that he thought that was amazing. I think that was the first time I’ve told a guy what an emotional little thing I can be sometimes and he didn’t freak out over it or get weird about me admitting that I cry like at least once a day for no reason. While we were outside waiting, the “old me” that felt like I always needed to be sexual to keep a guy interested in me broke out for a second, and I asked him what his favorite position is. Tony replied, “This one” as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was the cutest thing ever, I for sure swooned a little bit when he said that.

I remember the whole way back, I kept saying, “I never usually do this,” which I guess isn’t exactly true, but in a way, I felt like it was going to be the first something that I hadn’t done before. I kept asking if he’d think less of me, and made him swear not to think differently about me, that this was just because he was leaving the next day, and he assured me that he wouldn’t. I made him swear. He swore it was okay, he liked my confidence, he felt a connection, too, and he wouldn’t think any less of me for acting on what we both wanted.

Tony kissed me for the first time on my apartment building’s rooftop deck. I remember the exact spot. You know that “foot-popping” I’ve mentioned before? That was the first one I ever had. I mean, I didn’t literally pop my foot, but I felt it. It was very different from the way I’ve been kissed before. I remember at one point I was looking at the view, which is pretty amazing, and I looked back at him and I caught him looking at me smiling. You know that scene in “Tangled” when Rapunzel is looking at the floating lanterns, and Flynn is looking at her and you probably thought to yourself that you wanted a guy to look at you that way? That’s exactly what it was like.

We went back to my place and talked some more before things led to where I’m sure you can imagine they did. I asked him not to go right away because I didn’t want to feel like a prostitute or like I was being used, so he stayed a while longer. We had some laughs, I felt more comfortable than I ever have before, and really, it was just perfect. We cuddled a lot, and then he had to go but told me that I should come visit him in Arizona anytime, and said that we’d hang out next time he was in town. I believed him. He asked me to walk him downstairs and I did, and right before he left he gave me another big hug, a kiss, and said he couldn’t wait to see me again. 

I was over the moon happy. I fell asleep like a little kid going to Disney World the next day. I was already feeling the beginning of this being more than a crush or lust, but I really felt like it was okay. I was so convinced that this would be it. When he texted me first thing the next morning, not making me doubt for even a second that this was just going to be a one-night-stand he bragged about to his friends, I was even more sure.

Chapter 19: The Snapper

We all know what a catfish is, but I’ve had more experience with what I like to call “snappers,” just like Blake. To be fair to his legacy, I initially started calling him “The Superhero” because he was telling me a story about how when he was abroad, he fell down a flight of stairs and somehow didn’t break a single bone and it reminded me of that movie “Unbreakable” with Bruce Willis, but now, his name has been changed. Anyway – on to the story. 


I matched with Blake on Bumble in the fall of 2019, and even though he’s a bit younger than what I usually go for, I decided to give him a try. We started talking and immediately hit it off. He was very cute, funny and sarcastic, and seemed like a decent guy. He lived a bit outside of Boston, but not too far that it would be a problem. 

So we started talking, friendly at first before quickly moving into flirtier territory. From our conversations, we seemed very compatible in just about every respect, if you catch my drift, and I was excited to hopefully meet him soon. 

But that was the thing, he was weird about meeting up. He’d keep saying he wanted to come into the city to see me, and take me on a really memorable first date, but he’d never follow through. Our conversations (some via text, but mostly via Snapchat) would be super engaging and long and exciting, but then he’d never actually do anything about scheduling a date. Yes, I know this was a red flag, but I was into the attention and didn’t expect to marry him, so I let it slide and kept the flirting going. 

Photo by Tim Savage on Pexels.com

He would also tell me that he wanted to take me to a cabin in the mountains somewhere and teach me how to ski (I do know how to ski, but I’m awful), but then he’d go into graphic detail about the other things he wanted to do there. Half of me was like, “This sounds like the beginning of a murder movie,” but the other half of me was like, “Well he seems very, um, creative, I’m into it, alright let’s go.” 

I did like him for more than that, though, and thought it was pretty funny when we were texting on Thanksgiving and realized that we were both making the exact same side dish and even used the same online recipe for it. So there was definitely a part of me that felt like maybe, if we ever met, there could kind of be something a bit more serious there.  

But eventually, I got tired of the waiting. I do know I deserve better, and it was frustrating waiting for someone to commit to one time hanging out. Especially because most of our conversations were on Snapchat, he seemed to forget that he had Snapmap on and, as many of you probably know, I’m a bit of a  creeper so I DEFINITELY used that to my advantage a few times. There, I could see that he had actually come into the city a few times but he had never told me or tried to make plans to see me while he was there. Finally, I texted him one night before falling asleep and basically said, “So are we going to (beep) or no?” Actually, that’s not what I basically said, that’s exactly what I said. No response. 

I was venting about this to a guy friend of mine (who will be introduced in a later chapter) and he decided to take matters into his own hands, and convinced me to give him Blake’s number, which I did. I thought he’d just do something silly, but instead he said something like, “I’m trying to get with this girl Madeline but I want to know if she’s good in bed, she said you’d know.” I still have no idea why that was his tactic, and what he was hoping to accomplish with that, but that’s what he went with. 

I didn’t know that’s what my friend had messaged him until later, and once I saw, I can’t say I was surprised when I went onto Snapchat the next morning and saw that Blake had removed me as a friend. I was upset, more that he couldn’t just use his words, but tried not to let it get to me, and decided to speak up for myself since I usually wouldn’t, so I ended up texting him one last time saying, “Funny, it’s around Christmas, not Halloween, yet I’m still having to deal with a ghost. You could have just told me if you weren’t interested in me instead of leading me on for months, and it’s really immature to just ghost someone. Happy Holidays.” Or something like that.

Of course, I didn’t hear back from him (not that I was expecting to), but it did feel good to say something about how rude it is to just ghost people. I’ll be 100% honest and say I did cry about it a bit, not because I was heartbroken or anything, just because I was frustrated that I had to deal with an immature guy AGAIN. As I’m sure many girls can understand, it’s pretty annoying to get your hopes up and feel like you click with someone, but then have them just disappear with no real explanation (other than, you know, your friend saying weird shit to them out of nowhere).


So you might be wondering why I call him “The Snapper.” Well, a catfish is someone that basically uses someone else’s identity, and doesn’t really exist, but I knew Blake existed. Remember I said I used Snapmap to my advantage? Yeah, well I went full on stalker mode once when I was particularly pissed at playing the waiting game and looked up the address it seemed he was at the most to make sure it was registered to him (well, his parents, actually, because he still lives at home…) and that he actually existed. I also saw his face (and more – sorry, mom) on Snapchat quite a few times, so between personal photos and his story, I knew he looked like what he told me he did, and that he was in fact an actual person. I found his Facebook and Instagram, too, so again, I knew he was who he said he was. (This would probably be a good time for me to just put out a quick PSA to anyone who is my friend, or wants to be my friend/boyfriend in the future that you literally cannot hide ANYTHING from me because I’m basically an unpaid PI and I WILL find shit out no matter how hard you try to hide it. Everyone has their weird skills, Internet creeping is mine). 

Anywho, so I think Blake is a Snapper because, thanks to Snapchat (get it?), I know he is an actual person and who I thought he was, and he was really into using Snapchat as our primary source of conversation despite the fact that I’m pretty sure that’s a Gen Z thing now. But also, I call him a Snapper because it’s easy to get a guy who just wants to talk the talk and tell you all the things he’s going to do, but it’s hard to get a guy to actually do it. Kind of like how it’s easy to catch a snapper, but it’s hard to catch one that’s actually worth it (I confirmed this with my brother who knows much more about fish than I do, and no, that wasn’t even the weirdest question I’ve ever asked him).

So, Blake was yet another fail. Thank you, next, right? I went to a spa/yoga resort in Austin for New Year’s, got over him, and came back ready for more dating adventures. And boy, did I get them. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Chapter 15: The Stalker

Are y’all ready for another crazy story? 

This is actually the story that made me realize that, yeah, I REALLY needed to start documenting my insane dating stories because honestly, I think this one takes the cake. 

Isaac was one of the other guys that I met on Hinge during the summer of 2019. He’s Israeli, and I kind of have a weird thing for Israeli men (something about those eyes), so he immediately caught my interest. He works for a technology company, was a couple of years or so older than me, and just generally seemed interesting. So we matched, and then began chatting through the app. 

I have a Google Voice account so that I could get a secondary number with the Boston area code, mainly to use for work when I was at a start-up and making lots of phone calls and realized I didn’t want all these random people to have my number, but then I realized that this was also a great thing to have when it came to dating apps. I could match with guys, talk to them a bit on the app, and if I wasn’t sure how I felt about them when they asked for my digits, I could give out my fake number first, and then feel them out for a bit longer before deciding if I felt comfortable giving my real number. People always ask me what I do to explain having two different numbers with two different area codes, and honestly, I don’t know because I’ve never actually had someone graduate from a “maybe” to a “yes,” so I have not crossed that bridge just yet. 

But, Isaac seemed really cool. I didn’t feel like I had to feel him out first because he seemed alright, so I went straight to giving him my real number. Boy, was that a mistake. 

Full disclosure, my more or less being an open book gets me into trouble quite a bit. I’m also a pretty big flirt – have you ever seen that meme where it says, “I flirt when I get bored and now I owe 10 people a relationship”? That’s me. I also (clearly) have no shame, so there are very few off-limit topics for me. However, I have never experienced what I went through with Isaac before, no matter how flirty or open I happened to be in casual conversation. In the middle of texting one day, where frankly I thought things were mostly tame, he just randomly throws out that he’d never be okay with having a threesome with me and another guy, or watching me with another guy. Okay? I never expressed interest in that? I was confused, but just kind of went with it, changed the subject, and kept up with our plans of going on a date a few days later. 

Then things got REALLY weird. I was still in training for my job at Encore at this time, and I was waking up at about 4:30am to get there on time each day, so one day, I decided when I got home I’d take a nap. Before my nap, though, he asked me to send him a photo. I figured he wanted to make sure I wasn’t catfishing him or something, so I sent him a selfie on Snapchat and then fell asleep. 

When I woke up, I saw he had responded. I opened up his message, thinking he was going to tell me I looked pretty or something. He did, but that wasn’t all. After complimenting my photo, he had then said, “Now send me pictures of your feet.”

I vividly remember staring at the message for a solid two minutes before having even the slightest clue how to respond. I have never experienced someone with a foot fetish – this was a first for me – so I was pretty dumbfounded. I don’t remember what I said, but I probably just thanked him for the compliment, laughed off the foot comment, and changed the subject yet again. I thought that would be it.


But again, it was not. The next morning, as I was walking into training at 6am, I got a text from him asking if I liked his snap photo. I was a bit nervous about what he’d sent, so I took a deep breath, braced myself for a dick pic, and went to open the Snapchat photo he’d sent just a few minutes before. It was not a dick pic. It was worse. He had sent me a photo of a dildo that had to be about nine inches long. Seriously. I cannot make this shit up. Even better, in the photo, he had captioned it, “I can’t wait to use this on you on Friday.”

Now I’m not a prude, and I fully believe that men and women should be able to do whatever they want to do with one another regardless of what date society says is acceptable to engage in certain acts, but I was kind of shocked that he’d just assumed I was going to put out on the first date when we hadn’t even met yet. Also, I seriously have absolutely no clue what part of my Hinge profile where I talked about loving ice cream and Disney was the thing that made him think I’d be interested in having a 9 inch dildo used on me? Plus, I’m only 5’4” – that just does not seem fun.

At this point, I was not into this anymore. I deleted and blocked Isaac on Snapchat, which he somehow realized pretty quickly because within minutes I had another text from him asking if I’d seriously blocked him on Snapchat. I lied and said I’d deleted my account because someone was bothering me (him), and told him that I wasn’t really interested in the photo he’d sent me and it seemed like we weren’t really compatible because he was into things I was not, and I didn’t think I wanted to go out with him that weekend anymore. I tried to be nice and let him down easily, but ultimately I had to say no. 

This is where all hell broke loose. He FREAKED out. He was texting me nonstop the rest of the morning. Begging me to please still go out with him. He said that he wasn’t really that into the feet thing, it was just something an ex-girlfriend had liked that he thought I might find fun. Then, to make it even better, he told me that actually, he really wanted to see me with another guy, he thought it would be “so hot” to watch me with other men in front of him, so we could have a threesome with another guy, or he’d just watch me with two other random guys if that’s what I preferred. Again, I NEVER told him that was something I wanted, especially not with him.

At this point, I couldn’t be nice anymore. I tried telling him he seemed nice, but I just wasn’t feeling it, one more time, but when he still kept texting me, I blocked his number. So then he turned to WhatsApp. I couldn’t check my phone much in training, but during lunch I saw I had WhatsApp messages and he had used it to beg me to go out with him, to talk to him, anything, some more. I blocked him there, too. I found his Instagram and blocked that, and then when searching for his Facebook to block that, too, I discovered that he had dated a girl in my sorority who was a senior when I was a freshman (I still wonder if she was the one with the foot fetish). But, he was blocked, that’s what mattered. 

I thought that would be it, but of course, because it’s me, it wasn’t. The next day, I got a text from a random number saying, “Hi Maddy, my huge cock is ready and waiting for you.” First off, if you’re going to call me Maddie, spell it correctly. Secondly, I’ve already said NO so many times! So I blocked that number.


Actual text message from Isaac.

A couple of days later, I went onto my computer for the first time in a few days and realized that apparently my computer doesn’t block numbers that I’ve blocked on my phone, so I had a handful of texts from him waiting for me. Again, begging me to talk to him. Saying he missed talking to me (after five days of communication?), talking about his “hard cock” some more (guys need to stop watching so much porn) – I still have most of the texts, a few of them were a lot and not things I feel I should share here. I couldn’t figure out how to block his number there, so I ended up having to call Apple support and the guy who helped me needed me to screen share and even he was like, “Oh damn” when he could see the texts that were making me feel like spending an hour on the phone was completely necessary to get this guy blocked. Finally, we figured it out.

But that didn’t stop Isaac. Oh, no. Over the next few weeks, I would periodically get random texts from new numbers that I knew were him, saying he missed me, all the same things as usual. It was so bad that I had to ask my manager if he could talk to security at work about changing the rules saying we couldn’t carry pepper spray, because he knew where I worked. When my manager didn’t get an answer from anyone, I went to security myself and explained the situation and asked if I’d get in trouble for having pepper spray knowing this guy knew where I worked and clearly would not stop trying to get in touch with me no matter how many times I blocked him. They said no, absolutely not, and if he ever showed up at work to call them and they’d “take care” of it. I even started saving screenshots of all the texts he’d sent me to a photo album on my phone so I had evidence if he ever did something super crazy.

Finally, the texts stopped, but anytime I go through another phase of not having and then having Snapchat again, and making a new account, he always tries to add me. I always decline and immediately block him. He still hasn’t learned. 

I also tried reporting him several times to Hinge, but they never answered me until about six months later. It made me really worried because luckily I had found out he was a bit (a lot) psycho before meeting him, but what if a girl didn’t realize that and he did something on their date? How many other girls had he basically stalked? It really bothered me, and it still does, so really, this is just my little PSA to not use Hinge because personally, I don’t feel like they take their clients’ safety very seriously if they can’t even respond to my numerous attempts to report him until months later. 

So, that’s The Stalker. I sincerely hope he is my only stalker because honestly, I don’t have the energy to deal with anymore of them. I have learned my lesson that just because a cute Israeli with pretty eyes seems nice, it does not mean he deserves my real number right off the bat, and hopefully, he learned that most girls are not interested in early morning photos of large dildos and talks of threesomes before the first date. But maybe that’s just me?