After only a few days on Tinder, I matched with a guy that I’ll call Jacob. Just before matching with him, though, my friend Mary had sent me a funny story about a girl who only talked to her matches in “Twilight” quotes. Given that I was reading “Midnight Sun” (please tell me I’m not the only one) and have been reliving my high school days of being obsessed with the books and movies, I thought that this was hilarious. So we decided that the next match I had, I would try that.
Jacob was the next guy I matched with, so he was the lucky man that got to be on the receiving end of some weird messages.
I opened with the classic, “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” And it went from there. Jacob was a very good sport about it, and when he asked where I lived and I replied, “Forks, Washington,” he got instant bonus points for answering with an amazing pun and saying, “Get the Fork out of here with that.”
Finally, I told him what I’d been doing and he thought it was pretty funny. Apparently, it didn’t scare him off at all that I was quoting a book I read when I was 16, and he was still into me, so we continued talking.
After a couple of days, Jacob asked me when we could get together and I said I wasn’t sure, but maybe that night if he was around. He had a different idea and wanted to meet earlier. He offered to come over and hang out on his lunch break in just a little bit. But, me being the crime junkie I am, I don’t let random people come over so I asked if we could meet in public first. Apparently, he was very anxious to meet with me so he suggested that we FaceTime instead.
So, right after I got back from my run that morning, we FaceTimed and talked for a little bit before I took a shower and he got ready to come over on his lunch break that day. I decided that he wasn’t giving off serial killer vibes or any other kind of red flag, so I sent him my address. He came over, we hung out for a bit, and then he left. It was probably one of the weirdest and most random “first meetings” I’ve had – except for when I met The Bartender at a Best Buy parking lot, but it was also very enjoyable.
He told me that he’d always wanted a friend with a swanky apartment, so we should hang out again soon, and I agreed. It was also good timing because I’d just made my apple cider cakes and needed someone to share them with so they didn’t go bad. However, part of my plan with sharing them with him was that I was hoping he’d put the cake pans back up for me because they go in a cabinet that I can’t reach without a step ladder, and he’s very tall, but of course I forgot to ask him. I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t put a couple of tasks aside because I’m definitely hoping I can charm him to help me with them next time he comes over.
Honestly, he’s a really fun guy and extremely funny. He seems very genuine, too. We took turns showing off pictures of our nieces and bragging about them, and anyone who loves their nieces/nephews as much as I love mine is good in my book. He’s smart, has a good job, and kind of seems like a big teddy bear which is why I went with calling him Jacob over Edward – he definitely gives off more of a werewolf vibe than a vampire vibe. Considering that back in the height of my “Twilight” phase I was mostly Team Jacob, I’m perfectly happy with this.
The second time we hung out, it was equally brief, but still fun. We’ve talked about our love of true crime and Netflix documentaries, another bonus in my book, and I think I might have finally found a man who loves pizza the way that I do. We actually have a good amount in common, too.
He sends me funny and actually kind of sweet snap chats. He’s been good so far about remembering details about me, and so far he hasn’t done anything to piss me off. All good signs.
We have some of the weirdest hang outs, honestly. The most recent time I saw him was right after I took the LSAT. I was too tired to go out and I just wanted to enjoy not having anything to do, but I was bored and kind of lonely in the hotel I was staying at (I took the test in a hotel room and figured I’d stay the night), so he came over. He was so excited for me that I was done because he knows how hard I’ve been studying. He wished me luck and told me I was going to kill it like every day for the three days leading up to the test, which is a lot more than I can say for a good amount of people who’ve known me for way longer.
We hung out and talked and enjoyed how comfy the hotel bed was, and it’s kind of funny too because I feel like he’s one of the few guys where I haven’t felt like I had to know EVERYTHING about him after a week, so I feel like every time I see him I learn more about him and he learns more about me, which is probably how it should be. This time we talked about our sometimes crazy families and how much we both love Thanksgiving. He also saw my stuffed sloth that I have and had brought with me (I just like cuddling, okay?) and got me to tell him all about my slightly-obsessive fascination with sloths. And he STILL wasn’t scared off. He actually seems very into my weirdness. I’m a fan.
He actually did tell me that last time. When he saw the sloth and teased me about it for a second and I let it slip that I really love sloths, and still have sentimental stuffed animals, and admitted that that’s a little weird, he replied that he knows I’m kind of weird, he could tell right away, but that’s part of why he likes me. It’s nice to feel like I don’t have to hide my weirdness around him and I can just be myself and not be worried that my quirks will scare him off.
My old roommate in Orlando, Chelsea, is fascinated by this and is convinced we’re going to get married. She also thinks it’s amazing and a classic “only Madeline” thing that I would end up actually having some sort of thing with a guy that I started off with talking to only in “Twilight” quotes, and honestly I agree with her. Considering I recently had a guy from Tinder stop talking to me because I wouldn’t send him pictures of my vagina (true story) and another from Bumble tried to bait me into a political debate, I’ve obviously had guys ghost me for less weird things – or no reason at all.
So, we shall see what happens with Jacob. I’m hoping I have more stories with him soon because he seems cool and like he could give me some more fun material. For now, I’m just hoping he doesn’t imprint on my unborn child.