Chapter 39: The Disappearing Act

Hello, friends! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I had another shortage of material and then a crazy week so I’m a bit behind.
Speaking of unexpected disappearances, that brings me to this week’s post. Let me introduce you to Mac, yet another Bumble-bust.

Hello, friends! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I had another shortage of material and then a crazy week so I’m a bit behind.

Speaking of unexpected disappearances, that brings me to this week’s post. Let me introduce you to Mac, yet another Bumble-bust. 

Mac seemed nice on paper. He has a good job, just bought a new place, and seemed to have his shit together. Overall, a fun guy. 

Even though he’s a self-proclaimed ginger, and save for a very brief Ron Weasley phase, the only ginger I’ve ever been attracted to is Prince Harry circa 2014, he was funny. If you know me, you know that looks are definitely not everything to me. But, personality is, so I was excited to get to know him. 

So far, I was enjoying talking to him. Even if I wasn’t anywhere near the point of knowing whether or not it was going to go anywhere, Mac definitely seemed like the type of guy I’d want to be friends with. And no, that’s not me instantly friend-zoning him. I’m just stating a fact. 

We started off chatting on Bumble, and things were going pretty well. We had similar taste in music, movies, and general hobbies. He’s close with his family, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He didn’t judge me for saying that Twizzlers are my favorite candy. Plus, he balanced being on the “flirty but not sexual” line very well. Mac just seemed like a cool guy. 

After a while of talking on Bumble, we transitioned to text. He asked for my number, but made it clear I wasn’t obligated to do so if I wasn’t comfortable with that. I respect and appreciate that. I almost gave him my real number, but at the last minute decided to stick with Google Voice. Just in case, you know? 

Over text, we talked even more. He definitely seemed to have a good sense of humor and knew how to make fun of himself without making it sound like he’s just fishing for compliments. That’s something I rarely find in men, so it was a definite plus. I’m very attracted to men who know that they’re human and don’t take themselves too seriously. But, I also can’t stand when guys constantly put themselves down JUST to get me to compliment them. Confident but not arrogant, basically. 

Also, speaking of compliments, he almost immediately complimented my smile and my eyes. I personally think they’re my most attractive features. But, I feel like at least on dating apps, it’s usually a body part on my lower body that gets the most attention and compliments. Itt was nice to know that he was actually looking at my face in the photos. 

Another factor that’s very important to me with a future significant other is that they understand, appreciate, and at least kind of share my obsession with Marvel movies. If you didn’t know, I’m a huge superhero fan. My brother and I have seen almost every single MCU movie together. We always go within days of it being released, if not opening night. The few exceptions are when I was studying abroad – my brother waited for me to get home from Italy so we could see “Iron Man 3” together – “Dr. Strange,” and I think maybe one other movie. It’s a tradition for us (and always will be) so I need someone who understands why that’s a big thing to me and gets just as excited about new movies and TV shows as I do. Mac did. 

He also was fascinated that I used to work at Disney. He said loves the parks and the whole Disney-vibe. That’s another dealbreaker for me – you don’t need to be quite as big of a Disney fanatic as I am, but at least like it. I also just like when people show interest in something that I’m clearly very excited about talking about. He also told me he’d take me to a bar or somewhere to watch a Bruins game so I can finally understand more than the very basic rules of hockey. He’s a big hockey guy, so I thought that would be perfect.

So far, it seems like things were going fairly well, right? Well, they were. After a bit of talking, he asked me if I’d be up for going out with him that weekend, and I said yes. And not just because I needed material – I genuinely wanted to meet him in person and see what I thought. We picked a day and a general idea of where we’d meet. It seemed like things were on track for us to meet.

The Disappearance

And then, nothing. We had plans to meet Thursday after work. The Sunday before, we were having a great conversation about wines. Monday, I asked how his day was. Silence. I figured, it’s Monday, maybe a rough day, no worries. So I let it slide. Wednesday, I asked him if we were still on for the next day. More silence. By Thursday, I basically had a deadline that if he hadn’t said anything to me by noon, I wasn’t going out with him.

When noon came and went, I figured I should at least notify him that I was about to ghost him – karma, and all that – and pretty much just said that I wasn’t sure what happened, but no worries, and best of luck. It was like he’d disappeared into thin air – one minute he was there, having a great chat, next thing you know… poof. 

I wasn’t upset about it, really. I mean, I didn’t even know him yet. But it was just really strange. Considering on that same day, or maybe the day before, I had another Bumble match cancel our Friday date because he found my blog (yes, seriously) I thought that maybe Mac had found it, too. But he didn’t seem like the type to get worked up about it, so that didn’t seem right. I thought maybe he’d tried to do some social media stalking and couldn’t. He didn’t have my real number, maybe he thought I was catfishing him. I definitely like to give people the benefit of the doubt and make excuses for their behavior, clearly. (And you wonder why I’ve been in so many toxic relationships.) 

For a hot second, I did think about saying something a little bit spicier about how it’s rude to ghost people. Then I watched that Netflix movie “Desperados” and thought maybe he’d been in an accident like the guy in that movie. So I didn’t even bother. But, it was weird. I had gone from having 3 dates scheduled that weekend to 1 – and I ended up canceling it because of the craziness of the past couple of weeks. 

So Mac was another bust. His loss, right? I did look up news reports that weekend just to satisfy my own curiosity and see if maybe something had happened to him, but I couldn’t find anything with the limited knowledge I had. My money is on him not being quite as easy-going as he seemed and finding my blog, or thinking I was catfishing when he couldn’t find my Snapchat or Instagram or anything with the phone number he had. 

Mini-Tangent Ahead

This brings me to my next point. I realize that my having this blog may deter some men. I knew that when I started this, and I did it anyway. And some of you know the details of the guy who canceled on me, but I’m not going to go into it on here because it’s not worth it. 

But I do wonder – do the guys who don’t (or won’t) like that I have this blog not realize that I only write about the crazy stories? I mean, how many people do you know that have had their date run off because of a ‘dying dolphin’? Or get sent photos of 9” long dildos at 6am? That’s funny!

Alstroemeria is the friendship flower. <3
Photo by Skylar Kang on

And if it’s not a crazy, funny story, it’s a “lesson learned” story. I’m trying to help girls (and guys) realize that they are not alone in the heartbreaks. They’re not the only girl who has been cheated on, or (unknowingly) cheated with. They’re not the only girl who’s had a guy make them feel like they’re nothing more than a body. I’m not afraid to own up when I make a mistake or have some sort of lapse in judgment in a relationship. Those are real human feelings that happen to EVERYONE. Yes, this is cathartic and fun for me, but I do it more in hopes that maybe I’m helping one person out there realize that they’re not alone in the way that they feel. 

To be honest, I have a lot more that I could say about that matter in general, but again, not worth it. Really, if there’s any guy – past, present, or future – who judges me because of this, it’s a bullet dodged. Whether it’s because of the knowledge that they’ll probably end up doing something that’ll put them on it, or some sort of sexist/misogynistic view, if they want to take themselves out of the running, be my guest. 

Moving on!

Pandemic Dating

I’m going to be honest, y’all. Dating has sucked lately. I’ve been open-minded, and I’m still very optimistic and hopeful that I’m going to meet someone amazing soon, but it’s been nearly impossible to find a decent guy on the apps lately. I even upgraded my Bumble account for a month to see if that helped. Nope.

In the past few months, I think there’s been maybe one guy that I’ve been at least somewhat excited about. He turned out to be a major workaholic so I accepted a while ago that the chances of him making an effort to meet me are slim to none. No offense, but I feel like if you’re not going to put in any effort, you shouldn’t be on an app saying you’re looking for a relationship.

I feel like I do better in person anyway. I’ve never thought I was going to meet the love of my life on an app (okay, maybe once). There’s definitely some sort of organic, natural meet-cute in my future. But with the way Boston is right now, it’s been extremely difficult to meet anyone. I’m running out of stories because I haven’t been on a date in forever, I haven’t been able to go out and meet people in normal environments. Not even friends – I finally resorted to Bumble BFF.  Overall, and I know I’m not alone with this, it’s just kind of been not very fun.

Maybe I’m the only one who saw the masterpiece that is the Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor movie, but the scene where she’s just yelling that she’s “so bored” has been an accurate representation of my feelings towards my love/social life lately. I need some excitement. So I’m going to make a conscious effort to go find some, regardless of the circumstances of my city’s rules. But still staying safe, obviously. 

So that brings us to the end of this week’s chapter. Will I be back next week? I honestly don’t know yet, if I have some inspiration then yes, if not, then stay tuned for whatever excitement I’m able to find and create for myself soon.

In the meantime, I hope everyone is staying happy, healthy, and safe! Sending you all the positive vibes!

P.S. What do you think of the redesign? Let me know!

Chapter 12: The Lost Boyfriend

One of the other first few guys that I met and went out with after everything with Al came crashing down was a guy that I matched with on Hinge who was looking for someone to take to a wedding in November… in Italy. I figured he was joking, so I went with it, plus, I love Italy, so that was an instant conversation starter. 

Roy seemed nice, he was very funny and he loved Disney – which is a major plus in my book. We talked on the app for a few days, where our mutual love of Disney helped us quickly bond. That’s when he told me that if I loved Disney, then I’d probably heard of him when he had a moment of being infamous in the Disney world. This obviously intrigued me, so when he said that he’d tell me about it on our first date, I was very excited.

For our first date, we went to Rocco’s Tacos in the Seaport, which was really good and I recommend it if you haven’t been! We got drinks first, and that’s when he told me that he was known throughout one of the Disney groups that I belonged to for something embarrassing/funny that had happened with him and his ex-girlfriend one of the last times he went. I remembered the story (got to love those 15 minutes of fame), and thought it was pretty hilarious that this was him. I told my friends, and they agreed that only I would end up meeting and going out on a date with someone like him.

Then we got our tacos, and when it came time to pay, I offered to split it (like I always do) and he agreed. I do give him a bit of a break because I knew that he’d recently left his job to do something he was more passionate about, but at the same time, I’m kind of old-fashioned, and I really think that if a guy asks you out, he should pay on the first date. It makes you feel courted and special and like you’re worth a few $2.75 tacos and a drink, you know? Plus, if I’m being totally honest, I’m kind of spoiled when it comes to that as 99% of my guy friends refuse to let me pay for myself if I’m out with them, and pretty much any guy I’ve been on a date with has insisted on paying for me. So, I was a bit put off but didn’t want to use it as an excuse to completely write him off. And, he seemed nice and very into me, so I wanted to give him another chance. 

After our tacos, we walked around for a while, and then he offered to drive me home. While we were driving, we probably broke so many rules about not talking about or exes or unloading our baggage on the first date, but it seemed to sort of make sense. He’s a Leo, so it seemed a lot more like we were just comfortable with each other (since we’re both Fire signs) than anything too crazy. 

We hung out another day not too long after, we realized we were both doing some shopping in the same area so we shopped, got smoothies, walked around the waterfront, and then ended up getting dinner in the North End. That time he did pay, which I appreciated. That was the first day he kissed me. It was not the foot popping kiss I was looking for, but it wasn’t bad. I think that was the night that I took him to my apartment’s rooftop lounge (which is kind of my ‘thing’) and some guys were CLEARLY talking about me in another language and staring at me, and maybe doing some sort of mating dance? I don’t know, it was odd. We had a good laugh over it either way. 

Photo by Hana Brannigan on

He was super nice, and since during this time I was in training for Encore, he was very thoughtful and offered to pick me up and drive me home a couple of the nights that I got out late. One of those nights, I kissed him good night to try to see if I felt anything more than a platonic feeling towards him. I didn’t.

So at that point, I felt bad because I could tell that he had fallen hard but I knew that I was not nearly on his level. One night, while I was at Vivianne’s goodbye party before she moved, he drunkenly professed his love for me so I knew I was going to have to do something about it before it got too far. He must have a Cancer Moon or Cancer Rising, because there’s something about these guys falling for me so quickly. 

The thing is, I knew he really didn’t love me, he loved the idea of me – especially considering his previous relationship. I also just knew that we were going to be way better off as friends, we got along so much better that way. We have very different views on some things, and I could tell that ultimately, we were not going to be very compatible in some really important areas. I tried to tell him this one time, but I don’t know if I really said it the best way possible. I’m just REALLY bad at rejecting people because I feel so bad for hurting their feelings, I over explain and go on tangents and it just gets complicated to the point that I think I completely miss the point of what I was trying to say. But, I try! 

One of the last times we hung out, my friend from work Celia had asked me to go out with her and this guy that she’d been going out with, but didn’t want to send the wrong message to or anything, so she essentially needed a buffer. This was kind of perfect, because Roy had been asking me to hang out but I was afraid that if we were to hang out one on one he’d get the wrong idea, so I asked him if he wanted to come out with us, and he said yes.

The four of us had a really fun time, all things considered! Unfortunately, when he tried to kiss me goodbye I turned my head and made it super awkward. That’s when he realized that I’d kind of done the same thing to him that Celia had done to her date, which I did feel bad for, but sort of like with PJ, I just didn’t know how to make it any more obvious that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything romantic, and I really just don’t get why guys have to see a girl wanting to be friends as an open invitation to keep trying. It makes me uncomfortable, so I needed to see how he was in a group setting before agreeing to another one on one thing. 

After that, we kind of drifted apart. We do still pop up in each other’s DMs every so often, and I did text to jokingly call him out when a few weeks later, he ended up matching with Celia on Hinge and used the EXACT same line that he’d used on me. I thought it was pretty funny, honestly. 

And that is the story of Lost Boyfriend. If you notice the nickname and follow any Disney groups, you should be able to figure out what exactly his claim to infamy is in the Disney Passholder group, and how I picked his name. My Disney friends thought it was pretty funny that I ended up going out with him in Boston, of all places, and that he kind of sort of fell in love with me for a time. It really is such a small world after all.

Chapter 11: The Host

When I was on my second College Program in 2015, I ended up meeting a guy about my age who worked in a different department, but was helping out in Innoventions (where I worked) during one of the festivals. He seemed nice, so we started talking, and I told him that I really wanted to work in his department someday. He offered to tell me more about it and give me some advice on getting into it, which I thought was really nice, so we exchanged numbers after lunch one day and started to make plans to hang out some night. 

Of course, this was a big “no-no” as far as Christian was concerned. He was “talking to” another girl that had caused him to extend his target demographic by another year, so I figured that meant I could do whatever I wanted, too. I told him excitedly that I’d met this guy who was going to give me advice, and seemed really cool, et cetera, and he asked what his name was. I told him his name was Chad and he simply said, “Nope.” I asked him why, and allegedly, Chad had a somewhat shady history with a girl who worked at Innoventions a year or two before me, and so everyone who worked there had a weird vendetta against him because of it. Christian even had one of my friends/coworkers who was off that day text me telling me all the reasons why I couldn’t go out with Chad, and said that everyone at Innoventions would hate me if I did (ironically, most of them already did hate me and secretly wanted to ruin my life, just behind my back and not to my face. If only I’d have found that out months earlier). 

But, unfortunately, I was still in my phase of listening to everything Christian said. So, I ghosted Chad. Just stopped answering his texts, blocked his number, and avoided him if he walked through Innoventions. I felt bad, but as far as I knew, he was bad news, and Lord knows I didn’t need any more of that in my life. 

A couple of years later, in 2017, my dream came true. I got a Professional Internship position working in Guest Relations at Disney World. And, of course, because I’m a one-park-pony, it was back at Epcot. I was extremely excited to be back at Disney after cheating with Universal for a bit, happy to be back in my home and favorite park, and looking forward to meeting new people and learning new things.

I never thought about if I would know anyone that was still in Guest Relations, but of course, I did. My first day of training I met the girl I’d be training with, Lucia, who’s still one of my best friends (and my soulmate), then my trainer, and then Lucia’s trainer walked in. And who was it? Chad, of course. 

I couldn’t tell if he recognized me, but to be fair, my hair had gone through about three or four different color changes since I last saw him. We trained in our little pairs for the remainder of the week, and everything went well. Over the course of that internship, I learned that really, Chad wasn’t so bad. He was very sarcastic and had a similar sense of humor to me, helpful when I had questions, and overall just seemed like a decent guy. I tried to tell Christian this and that he was wrong about him, but of course he just told me more lies and made up more stuff. But at least this time, I didn’t listen, and I continued to have some sort of friendly working relationship with Chad. I ran into him a few times after my internship when I was in my last position at Disney, and it was always nice, so I thought that it was cool that after all that time, we could at least be friendly.

For a long time, that was the extent of our friendship. We occasionally liked each other’s photos on Instagram, maybe a message or two here and there, but nothing crazy. Then one day, I was bored and decided to ask him if he had remembered me from Innoventions when I walked in to Guest Relations. He claims he doesn’t remember, which is fair, but I guess that just sort of opened up some sort of door with us because after that, we started talking a bit more. 

Eventually, he started to get flirtier, and I often did, too, but I didn’t always bite until after The Cheater left me in a moment of need. Then, my grandma – who was one of my best friends – passed away just a couple of days later. I stayed in Florida for a few more days and then flew back to Boston to get back to my life. The day I got back to work, my managers pulled me in for a meeting and said that they had to let me go because my position was being eliminated due to budget issues. Way to kick a girl when she’s down, right?

So after all that, I was really sad. I felt lonely, lost, and I was desperate for a distraction. So, I started to entertain the idea of Chad a bit more. To his credit, when I told him what was going on and that I was sad about losing my grandma, and then also having to deal with losing a job on top of that, he was extremely nice and talked to me about it more than a lot of my close friends. Some might say it wasn’t genuine, that he had ulterior motives, but honestly, I really didn’t feel like he had an agenda for being nice to me when I was clearly going through a difficult time and just needed someone to talk to. It was such a huge juxtaposition between how he was being versus how the guy I had been dating for eight months had acted, and it was a very welcome feeling. 

I already had plans to see some friends in Orlando while I was home with my family, which I mentioned to Chad, so he kindly offered to let me stay with him. I was excited, because I really needed to see my friends after everything that had happened recently, and I really thought that seeing them plus staying with him was exactly the kind of distraction I needed to feel better. He said he had a guest room, so I could totally stay with him, no problem, and he’d buy me a drink when I got there to make up for everything that had been going on lately. I remembered that one of my other friends from my internship who was friends with him had recently stayed with him when she went down and she didn’t have anything bad to say afterwards, so I figured if I could save some money and stay with someone I knew, and have some fun with it, why not? 

My home park.
Photo by Benjamin Suter on

Except one thing. He didn’t have a guest room. I got to Orlando, saw a friend that day, had my drink with Chad, where we talked and caught up on everything that had been going on in our lives, talked about work, all that fun stuff, and then went back to his place. He had kissed me in the parking lot, so on the way, I was wondering how exactly this was going to work out if he’d planned for me to stay in a guest room. But, apparently, this was not something I had to worry about as I arrived at his place to find out that the “guest room” was really his couch. So, it was the couch or his bed. I could have stayed on the couch, where it turns out my friend had slept when she stayed with him, but considering the way we’d been talking recently, I’ll let you guess which one I chose. 

Overall, we had a fun time. It definitely wasn’t anything serious, but I was still a little pissed when less than 48 hours later one of my friends from Orlando, Lizzie, texted me asking if I knew a guy from Disney named Chad and I said yes, why? They had just matched on Bumble and he’d asked her if she wanted to get a drink that night, and she saw we followed each other on Instagram so she wanted my advice. I told her about staying with him just that weekend and asked that she not go at least this time because it was not exactly going to lift my confidence for him to go on a date so soon after me being there. And, considering the hit she knew my ego had recently suffered because of The Cheater, and because girl code is REAL, she quickly obliged. 

We still talked here and there and kept things friendly, and then the next time I was planning on going to Disney for a 10K, he invited me to stay with him. I wasn’t very tempted because I’d be going with my family and did not want to deal with the questions of where I was going from my brother, but I did think about it. I had already booked my tickets, but he kept trying to convince me to change my flights, but I am not about that change-fee life so I never did. Good thing, because he ended up having something going on the night I would have changed to arrive on, and he would have had to bail on me last minute. So that would have been $200 down the drain.  

Then, when I got back to Boston, I saw on Instagram that there were some ~fishy~ things with him and another girl. Which is totally fine – he could do what he wants, I was doing my thing, too – but, I don’t think you should be trying to convince a girl to spend $200 to change her flight with whatever was going on with them happening. So, given that I was, frankly, VERY tired of dealing with bullshit from men, I told him off. I told him I didn’t appreciate being jerked around like that, and that it wasn’t cool to do whatever he’d been doing and that he needed to be honest from now on. He apologized, and things went back to being friendly. We ended up having a mini falling out a few months later over something that wasn’t really that serious, but I had a no-tolerance policy by that point so I was done. I blocked him everywhere. 

However, after seeing his multiple attempts to contact me on my computer (side note, why won’t my computer block the same numbers that are blocked on my phone? Does anyone know how to fix this?) I finally decided to answer. We talked it out, he apologized again, and I told him that fuckboy is NOT a good look on him so to cut it out, and he agreed. 

So, Chad, The Host, is one of the few guys on here that I still have contact with in some capacity, which also means that I allowed him to read this before it was posted and veto anything in here that he didn’t want disclosed and give me feedback on things he’d appreciate being changed. Honestly, this should be a lesson to men that if you own up to your mistakes and don’t turn into a major jerk, you’ll end up getting at least a slightly better edit on here than the rest of them. And my parting lesson to women? When a guy offers to let you stay with him for the weekend, make sure that he ACTUALLY has a guest room. 

No More Damsel in Distress: Representation in Films as told by a Former Disney Cast Member

“You can’t marry a man you just met,” Queen Elsa says to her sister, Anna, in the hit Disney film “Frozen.” This was the first time in forever that a Disney character has not only acknowledged, but called out, the often criticized trend of Disney princesses getting married to their Prince Charming after nothing but a few brief interactions. 

This short line from a film that ended up becoming one of Disney’s most popular is just one in a new wave of thinking in Disney films. From Merida in “Brave,” Tiana in “The Princess and the Frog,” Elsa, and Moana, young girls and boys are seeing a break from the tales of damsels in distress, instead watching stories of young princesses taking control of their lives and not waiting for anyone else to save them. But, just because now we’re seeing better representation in Disney films, does this mean we have to abandon the classic Disney films that might not send the same message? 

As a self-proclaimed Disney fanatic and a former cast member (Disney’s term for employees), the films and characters will always have a special place in my heart. Ever since I first saw “Beauty and the Beast” when I was just a few years old, Belle has been my favorite Disney princess. One of the main reasons was because with brown hair and brown eyes, she looked the most like me.

Except for when I went blonde…

If you were to ask most young girls which princess is their favorite, they will likely choose the one that they resemble the most, and thanks to new movies and TV shows produced by Walt Disney Studios and the Disney Channel, there are more races and ethnicities than ever being represented. 

But still, many parents of today are hesitant to let their young daughters watch the classic tales of “Cinderella” and “The Little Mermaid” because of the messages that these movies can send to their young, impressionable children. Actresses such as Kristen Bell and Keira Knightly have both gone public with their decisions to not let their daughters watch many of the Disney movies that I grew up with. 

Many of these films recently criticized by parents, however, have much deeper messages than to be beautiful and wait for a prince, and can be a great excuse to have an important discussion with your daughter about what it means to be a princess. While I loved Belle because she looked like me, I also admired her voracious reading as well as her loyalty, bravery, and kindness. When my 2 year-old niece (whose favorite princess changes every day) says “please” and “thank you,” because “that’s what princesses do,” I remind her that princes must be polite, too. 

“The only way to get what you want in this world is through hard work.”

Princess Tiana, “The Princess and the Frog”

Though many of the movies produced during Disney’s Golden Age (from 1937-1967) offer what are now seen as antiquated values, it is important to remember that many of these stories were adapted from classic fairy tales written by The Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen, and that these messages were much more accepted at that time. That, of course, doesn’t make it right, but you can’t change the past — you learn from it. 

While it might not be the best message for a 3 year-old to see princesses like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty being kissed without their consent, it is also an opportunity for parents to teach how to protect themselves from strangers. Sheltering children will not help them as much as exposing them to real world situations and having conversations about them will, and Disney films can be an excellent tool to initiate many of these important discussions.

The Disney Renaissance (1989-1999) films introduced more progressive female characters, like Mulan and Megara from “Hercules,” though some of the tales are still seen as problematic for some. Yet, these films include several important values and messages for young girls besides forcing femininity and submission to men. For example, though Jasmine is beautiful and kind, she also fights back against the patriarchal society and her forced marriage. The princesses of this era begin to convey the idea that being feminine does not mean that you have to give up your strength.

It is a legitimate concern that Disney princess stereotypes are teaching girls to be “passive and caring more about personal appearance,” as journalist Christian Gollayan writes, and with parents wanting to raise their daughters with more modern values, some Disney movies might not be what they’re looking for. It’s understandable to want to raise your daughter to be strong on her own, and that isn’t a belief I’m going to fault. 

As a former cast member, my opinion is probably a bit biased, but that’s because I’ve seen first-hand the joy of a girl meeting her favorite princess. I’ve seen them completely done up in hair, makeup, and sparkly dresses after visiting the Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boutique. And when I do, I think maybe she, like me, doesn’t admire that princess because of her looks and her ability to be rescued by a big, strong, man, but because of her character, heart, and knowledge. 

“Frozen” and “Moana,” both films featuring strong female characters on a journey to save their families and community, are excellent films that are helping to change the narrative of what it means to be a princess, but appreciating them doesn’t mean we have to forget the classic films many of us know and love. Instead of banning these older films, using them to open up discussions with daughters can expose her to several other important themes that will help her grow into a strong woman. 

Besides, many of the Disney princesses and heroines, like Megara (who faces her troubled past to help Hercules defeat Hades) have proven that even if you are a damsel, and you are in distress, you can (and will) handle it.