10 Reasons Why I Love Traveling Solo

I love traveling solo – it’s fun, empowering, and I’ve had great experiences so far. But I get many people asking me why I like it so much, and if there are any things that I don’t like about it. So, here’s my Top 10 list of why I love traveling soo – and three things that I don’t.


1. I get to do what I want!

This is a pretty obvious reason. When I travel solo, I get to see what I want, when I want. There’s no, “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” back-and-forth all day. If I want to go into a store, I go. If I’m crazing pizza, I don’t have to worry about if someone is craving tacos. 

It’s healthy to be a bit selfish and put yourself first sometimes, and if I’m going to spend money on a trip, I want to make sure that it’s (mostly) spent the way I want to. I’m more into history and culture than a lot of my friends – I wouldn’t drag them to museums, and then I’d be disappointed we didn’t go. I’ve never been to Vegas before – but I’ve been invited. Still, I’ve never gone because I would want to see shows, not just party, so I wouldn’t want to go somewhere that I wouldn’t be able to have a trip that I would actually enjoy. Traveling solo means that I get to have the trip I want guilt-free.

2. I don’t have to wait around.

My friends are great, but some spend half their day getting ready to go out. I am not about that life. I am the friend who sets an alarm even on vacation so I have time to work out and enjoy my coffee before venturing out for the day, so if I did that just to spend the next four hours waiting for my friend to get ready, I’d spend the whole trip annoyed. I’m not always the most punctual of people, but I’m usually within 5-10 minutes of on time. If I can’t rely on some of my friends to make it to a brunch reservation within the hour we had reserved, I’m not sure that traveling will be a fun and no-stress experience.

3. I can be more flexible and adaptable.

On my recent trip to Greece, I decided that I didn’t want to do the horseback riding tour I’d booked anymore because it would change the type of trip I was having. So, I canceled it. I like having the freedom to change my plans. If I realize I want more time at one place or less at another, I can. It’s easier to be flexible when you’re on your own, and I’ve found that flexibility is a must in travel.

4. It’s easier – and more comfortable – to plan

I get it; everyone has different budgets and comfort levels. I don’t spend much money on ‘things.’ I cook and drink primarily at home. I prioritize saving money for travel to afford the type of vacations that I like to take. I’d rather splurge on a hotel than one night out. But, of course, not everyone is like that, and that’s okay! But I have learned that it’s difficult to overcome when attempting to plan travel with friends. 

I will never be okay with staying at a hostel – I did that in college, and it was enough. I don’t need a luxury resort, but I like to feel safe, comfortable, and know that where I’m staying provides at least a bit more than the bare minimum. But it can be hard to find a compromise with friends who are okay with hostels and only the basics, and I’ve found that things rarely get planned when there are such differences in comfort levels and budgets. 

Solo day trip to Seville, Spain.

5. I get to meet new people and make friends.

I’m a very social and outgoing person. I love meeting new people, and I’ve been able to meet some great people by traveling solo. Not having a friend or someone there as a “buffer” forces me to put myself out there. I’ve had so many fun conversations with people because if I wanted to talk to someone, I had to be brave! Getting to know the people is a great way to get to know the culture of where you are. I’ve had so many people strike up conversations with me once they see I’m alone (and not in a creepy way). Talking to strangers and making friends in new cities is a great way to build confidence, and I’ve found it’s easier to do so when you’re traveling alone.

6. I feel confident and empowered.

It’s a great feeling to do something outside your comfort zone, and I always feel empowered AF during and after a trip. Especially when people I meet constantly tell me how cool and brave it is to travel solo and how impressed they are, it’s a nice little confidence boost. I like knowing that I’m confident enough – and secure enough – to do something special for myself. I believe in accepting and loving yourself first and foremost. To me, solo travel is the ultimate way to ‘date’ and love myself.

7. I don’t miss out.

Especially when traveling internationally, if you’re going somewhere, you want to make sure you make the most out of it. Traveling with others, or especially a big group, you can easily run the risk of not getting to see everything you wanted due to lack of time. Or, you do, but your friends didn’t, which also sucks. Also, if an opportunity comes up that you’re dying to do, but it overlaps with other plans, that’s never fun. For the record, I’m a big believer in compromise. When traveling with family or no-stress friends, I’m happy to check out things that might not have been #1 on my list. Still, it’s nice to give yourself opportunities where you’re only doing what you want.  

Chapter 40: Grocery store guy

Growing up as a child of the 90s, plus a Disney lover, I’ve seen about every single movie “meet-cute” you can think of. The dog leashes getting twisted at the park, getting in the same taxi, you name it, I’ve probably seen it. But one that always sort of stood out to me as especially cute was the grocery store meetup. 

Growing up as a child of the 90s, plus a Disney lover, I’ve seen about every single movie “meet-cute” you can think of. The dog leashes getting twisted at the park, getting in the same taxi, you name it, I’ve probably seen it. But one that always sort of stood out to me as especially cute was the grocery store meetup. 


Maybe it’s because I’m fairly short, so I always thought this was a pretty easy one to make happen. All I had to do was need something on the top shelf that I just couldn’t *quite* meet. Then, a handsome, smart guy would come out of nowhere and grab it for me. Of course, all the times that I have needed to ask someone to grab something for me it’s never been a guy even in my age range that’s available to ask for help. But I remain optimistic. 

Recently, I was in Arizona. I was originally planning on just staying in the Phoenix area for a few days and taking a day trip to Sedona (where I really wanted to go). Thanks to my parents, however, I ended up spending a few days in Sedona and then headed to Phoenix. I was excited to get out in nature, have some sun (I was getting a little too pale), recharge my crystals, and mostly, just have some time to myself to think through some decisions I needed to make. Also, I was excited to have a chance to make more positive memories than the last time I was there. Really, I didn’t have any plans or expectations beyond a few things I wanted to experience at some point in both places. Having any kind of romantic entanglement was certainly not high on the priority list. 

The day I drove from Sedona to Phoenix, I’d done a really cool yoga and meditation hike (which is exactly what it sounds like). But because of the weather and location, for some of it, we literally sat on the ground. That was in the morning and lasted a few hours. Then, I was in the car for two hours driving. So, I wasn’t exactly camera-ready. But after checking in at my hotel, I wanted to get a few things so that I had some snacks and breakfasts in my room. And wine. I wanted wine. 

Arizona is really pretty, if you didn’t know.

As I walked down the wine aisle, I hear two guys talking. One of them was asking the other if he knew of any sweet wines. His friend said no, he wasn’t sure. Meanwhile, I was mostly just looking for a wine with a twist top since I don’t know how to use a corkscrew, so I had plenty of time to listen in on their quest for a sweet wine. 

Finally, I offered my suggestion when I noticed a wine that I like that happens to be pretty sweet. And me being my overly friendly self, I ended up spending the next few minutes helping the guy who seemed more invested in this hunt find a sweet wine. Meanwhile, he kept an eye out for a red wine with a twist top for me. 

Eventually, he found his wine, but I was still looking for mine. But somehow, the wine conversation seemed to be an open invitation to him to linger for a while, so he introduced himself. He gave me two names that weren’t even slightly related and I’m still not sure which was his actual name. Think of him saying something like, “My name is Deacon but you can call me Lee.”

For the purpose of this story, we’ll go with Lee. 

He tried to shake my hand but I said no because I’d been traveling and just wanted to be respectful towards his health. This was true, but also I feel like I just haven’t had human contact with strangers in so long I was caught off-guard. But, he understood. He asked me where I’d flown in from, I said Atlanta (which was true). Then, why I was in Arizona, I said some friends and I were getting together for one of their birthdays (which was not true) and I was in charge of getting some things for the first night. I was NOT about to tell some guy I didn’t know that I was traveling alone. 

Eventually, as it always happens, he asked for my number. And as usual, I gave him my fake one. He finally walked away to find his friend and I timed my exit from the grocery store perfectly. I had noticed that he’d already texted me, but I don’t text and drive. Plus, I wanted to wait until I was back and settled in the hotel before I answered.

When I did answer an hour or two later, he said he thought that I was already ghosting him. Great. Y’all know how much I love a guy who can’t handle if a girl doesn’t immediately respond. Then he asked how I’m single, because I seem like a “beautiful, intelligent, ambitious girl.” Which is true. But I’d forgotten that I mentioned something to him about looking at law schools, so it kind of creeped me out at first that he somehow knew all of this. But points for the compliment regardless. 


Lee started trying to hang out VERY quickly. Which, I get, because he’s also not from Arizona. He actually lives in California, but he’s a personal trainer (what is it with me and personal trainers??) and has some clients in the area that he comes out to visit. But Lee was with friends. Obviously, I couldn’t hang out with them when I said I was also with a group but actually didn’t know anyone out there. At least not that wanted to hang out with me. The first night, I said we were just chilling at the hotel. He asked what the plans for the weekend were and I said it was up the birthday girl. 

Over the weekend, Lee just did NOT get that I wasn’t interested. Maybe I shouldn’t have given him my number if I wasn’t interested. But at the time I did think it might be nice to make a friend while I was out there. Plus it just wasn’t a super comfortable position to be in and say no. But Lee kept saying that he just “wanted to have fun.” So it became pretty clear to me why he was so insistent on hanging out. Like, calling me four times in a row kind of insistent. And that’s just not my style.

The next night, I had plans to go out to dinner. But, the place I chose had a super long wait so I went back to my hotel. When he asked what we were doing, I just said we had dinner plans but might go out later. Then I ignored his texts for the rest of the night because he kept asking me if we wanted to pregame with them. I haven’t pregamed since college, so at this point I started to question how old he was. 

The Full Moon (in Libra) in question.

The next day, I told him we weren’t huge club people and that we were more dinner people. Then he sort of invited himself to our next dinner in a roundabout way, so I knew to avoid that topic for the rest of the day. He did ask me some questions about myself, which was nice I guess. I did learn that we are the same age, but he kept using the wrong “your/you’re” form. That’s a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I managed to avoid the going-out topic in that conversation, which again you’d think he’d have taken as a signal. But no. 

I had already decided to extend my stay, but no way was I telling him that. As far as he knew, I was leaving Monday so on Sunday, he was REALLY trying to get together. At this point, I asked some friends on Instagram which approach I should take – honest truth that I just wasn’t interested in hanging out, or honest truth that I’m super into crystals and energies and had to do my full moon ritual that night. They chose the second option. 

So I told him that my friends and I had to get ready for the full moon that evening. I thought about milking it more and mentioning a sacrifice or something really weird – one of my friends suggested I say we were hoping for better harvests, I was thinking saying that we’d also be manifesting fertility – but I decided to leave it as a vague “are they a witch coven or just weird?” interpretation. 

I thought that would be it. But no. Later that day, he responded asking me what the ritual was. I told him, and STILL not getting it. He asked me if we could talk more about it. At that, I just stopped responding. If you’re not going to get the picture, not my problem. I really thought that the “she might be a witch” stuff would do it, but Lee was determined. 

Points for persistence?

At least I learned that grocery store meetings are possible, though. And that I’ve still got it even when wearing dirt colored pants and smelling like a rental car. My friends are all in agreement that I’m the only person they know who’d go to a grocery store in a completely different state and meet a guy who asked for my number, and then have to pretend to be in a witch coven to get rid of. I think that’s accurate. It looks like the Universe isn’t quite done with giving me blog material just yet. 

But to end on a happy note, I did finally release a lot of the stagnant energy and hurt and feelings I was still holding onto from my experience last year while I was there, and I finally feel like I’ve learned all the lessons I was meant to learn from that. My friend said that when that happens, it means the Universe is getting ready to send someone new into your life and that it’ll be a positive experience… so who knows, hopefully one of my next few posts will be about the grocery store meet-cute that I really want. 

Chapter 24: The Rollercoaster

Not as much fun as it sounds.

Well, folks, the time has come. This is the story that I have been dreading writing about ever since I finally decided to bite the bullet and start this blog. 

As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, and like I have mentioned before, I typically use humor to mask my pain – and over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But if you’ve come to love my blog for a laugh or two, some self-deprecation, and my amazing sense of humor, I’ll tell you right now that this chapter is not going to be like the rest. While I will try my best to sneak in a few jokes here and there, this story is still pretty recent, to me at least, and it still hurts a bit, so it might not have the same tone you’ve gotten used to. This is also one of those stories that no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to condense into the usual length of these chapters without feeling like I wasn’t really telling the whole story the way it needs to be told in order to fully understand its impact.

But, what’s just as important to me as being funny and entertaining is being honest, and being real. In this chapter (okay, maybe it’s going to be a bit of a book), I will be 100% real. Sometimes, life sucks, a lot, but that’s just part of being human. To anyone else who’s experienced a particularly crappy heartbreak, you aren’t alone and I hope that this chapter helps you realize that.

So while I already have my big glass of wine to get me through writing this first part (which will most definitely take me at least a few days to finish), and I hope you do, too (I told you to get some ready last week!) – I’ve also taken the liberty of creating a playlist for you to enjoy while reading this chapter since I can already tell that it’s going to be a particularly long one. This playlist is meant to be listened to in the order I have it in to kind of parallel the story itself, but you can totally shuffle if that’s more your thing. If you don’t drink, grab some ice cream, if you don’t like ice cream, I don’t know what to tell you.

Also just a shameless plug for if you want to follow me on Spotify!

Alright, enough with the introduction. As always, all names have been changed to protect privacy. Let’s start the story of The Rollercoaster.


Earlier this year, I was back on Bumble, yet again, but so far had not been having a lot of luck. More than anything, I was just on there for entertainment and the occasional confidence boost, but really, I was kind of enjoying being single. I had finished grad school, I was about to start a cool new job where I’d get to travel, I felt healthy, and I was really happy with my life. 

I had recently read an article about astrology feng shui or something, talking about how your home can impact other areas of your life, so I was kind of taking that into account in my life as well. Not just for romantic reasons, but I felt like I was attracting a lot of positively at that time, and I wanted to keep that going. One of the things they said to do was to clear out clutter and make more space in your home, because more physical space meant you were also making more space for positive things to come into your life – and yes, that’s including love. 

An actually fun rollercoaster.
Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

Then one night in January, I was on Bumble and I ended up matching with Tony. His profile was literally perfect – no fish photos, no games of “guess who?,” good grammar – the works. He was insanely attractive, and seemed like a great guy. He’s a personal trainer and massage therapist, but also teaches kids with special needs, and his profile talked about how much he loves what he does (which is a major turn-on for me considering I’m very over the guys who don’t have any work ethic), and I was extremely excited when I got the alert that we had matched. 

I messaged him and asked him what his favorite food is – amazingly original, I know – but he responded with Italian, so I knew he was a keeper. It turned out that Tony is from the area, but now lives in Arizona, but was visiting Boston for the weekend. He asked me if I’d like to join him for drinks that night, and while for a moment or two I hesitated because I was kind of tired, I did end up saying yes.

However, I did almost end up late to meet because I got very invested in making myself some baked ziti and nearly thought about canceling, but something kept telling me that I couldn’t bail on this one. So, I ate my ziti very quickly, freshened up, and was on my way to the hotel he was staying at to meet him for some drinks.

I texted him that I was there, and he said he would come downstairs. The second I saw him, I froze. I have honestly never experienced anything like that before. I would say it’s kind of like the feeling I get when I unexpectedly see a picture of Liam Hemsworth and am reminded of how ridiculously sexy he is, but it was so much more. All my pre-date nerves immediately disappeared. I felt safe, I felt comfortable, I felt like this was it. This is what I’d been waiting for. I know that on the rare occasion when I fall for someone, I can fall hard but I swear I have never felt it so strongly or so quickly with anyone ever before. The way he smiled at me, I honestly felt like maybe he was feeling the same thing. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced. 

We sat down at the bar and ordered drinks, and immediately the conversation started flowing. I told him about having recently finished grad school, the job I was about to start, my family, and studying for the LSAT. He told me about his family – including his many sisters – and his job, what brought him to Arizona, and more. I will be the first to admit that I have NEVER been a big fan of Boston accents, but oh my goodness – his is perfect. I was hanging on his every word not just because I was already so into him but because I loved the way he said everything. We had a lot in common, he made me laugh, he laughed at my dumb jokes and sarcasm, and overall we were hitting it off. Really, I felt like I’d known him for years. He was genuinely interested in what I had to say, too, which was a breath of fresh air. 

He asked me if I wanted to come out with his friends after we finished our drinks, since they were in town and he wanted to see them, too, but he wanted to spend time with me since he was heading back to Arizona the next day. I agreed, so we went up to his room where I met one of his friends, we hung out there for a bit, and then headed over to Earl’s in the Prudential Center to meet the rest of his friends.

I liked them immediately. They all seemed so nice, and not at all put off by him bringing some random girl along – which I would have totally understood if they didn’t like. They welcomed me, made me feel comfortable and not like an outsider, and they seemed to really like Tony and think of him as a good guy. We all got along, so it was a good night and it made me feel even more comfortable with everything. I also thought it was absolutely adorable that he kept bragging about me to his friends and making them congratulate me on having just finished grad school.

As the night went on, and I had a couple of Moscow Mules (with gin instead of vodka – try it, I got Tony to and he liked it) in me, the liquid courage started coming out. Earlier, I had asked Tony if he wanted to see my apartment after drinks because I was talking about my rooftop views, and he said yes. Our chairs started to get a little closer, hands started getting touching under the table, and I was really excited. Not in a sexual sense, in a, “I really want to get to know him better” kind of way. Finally, he and his friends were talking about something they all had to do the next day and I leaned in and asked him if he was still coming to my place after. He said yes, after we were all done. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just the connection I was already feeling, but I got a surge of boldness and whispered to him, “Oh, but I kind of want to go now.” With that, he told his friends we had to go and said good night. I told them goodbye and thanked them for letting me crash their evening, and we headed out.

On our way to the Uber, I said something about being an Empath, I don’t remember why, and he said he knew. I asked how he knew I was an Empath and he said that he’s one, too. I warned him that this does mean I’m prone to crying and feeling all the feels, and he said that was okay. He understood and said that he thought that was amazing. I think that was the first time I’ve told a guy what an emotional little thing I can be sometimes and he didn’t freak out over it or get weird about me admitting that I cry like at least once a day for no reason. While we were outside waiting, the “old me” that felt like I always needed to be sexual to keep a guy interested in me broke out for a second, and I asked him what his favorite position is. Tony replied, “This one” as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was the cutest thing ever, I for sure swooned a little bit when he said that.

I remember the whole way back, I kept saying, “I never usually do this,” which I guess isn’t exactly true, but in a way, I felt like it was going to be the first something that I hadn’t done before. I kept asking if he’d think less of me, and made him swear not to think differently about me, that this was just because he was leaving the next day, and he assured me that he wouldn’t. I made him swear. He swore it was okay, he liked my confidence, he felt a connection, too, and he wouldn’t think any less of me for acting on what we both wanted.

Tony kissed me for the first time on my apartment building’s rooftop deck. I remember the exact spot. You know that “foot-popping” I’ve mentioned before? That was the first one I ever had. I mean, I didn’t literally pop my foot, but I felt it. It was very different from the way I’ve been kissed before. I remember at one point I was looking at the view, which is pretty amazing, and I looked back at him and I caught him looking at me smiling. You know that scene in “Tangled” when Rapunzel is looking at the floating lanterns, and Flynn is looking at her and you probably thought to yourself that you wanted a guy to look at you that way? That’s exactly what it was like.

We went back to my place and talked some more before things led to where I’m sure you can imagine they did. I asked him not to go right away because I didn’t want to feel like a prostitute or like I was being used, so he stayed a while longer. We had some laughs, I felt more comfortable than I ever have before, and really, it was just perfect. We cuddled a lot, and then he had to go but told me that I should come visit him in Arizona anytime, and said that we’d hang out next time he was in town. I believed him. He asked me to walk him downstairs and I did, and right before he left he gave me another big hug, a kiss, and said he couldn’t wait to see me again. 

I was over the moon happy. I fell asleep like a little kid going to Disney World the next day. I was already feeling the beginning of this being more than a crush or lust, but I really felt like it was okay. I was so convinced that this would be it. When he texted me first thing the next morning, not making me doubt for even a second that this was just going to be a one-night-stand he bragged about to his friends, I was even more sure.