Chapter 39: The Disappearing Act

Hello, friends! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I had another shortage of material and then a crazy week so I’m a bit behind.


Speaking of unexpected disappearances, that brings me to this week’s post. Let me introduce you to Mac, yet another Bumble-bust. 

Mac seemed nice on paper. He has a good job, just bought a new place, and seemed to have his shit together. Overall, a fun guy. 

Even though he’s a self-proclaimed ginger, and save for a very brief Ron Weasley phase, the only ginger I’ve ever been attracted to is Prince Harry circa 2014, he was funny. If you know me, you know that looks are definitely not everything to me. But, personality is, so I was excited to get to know him. 

So far, I was enjoying talking to him. Even if I wasn’t anywhere near the point of knowing whether or not it was going to go anywhere, Mac definitely seemed like the type of guy I’d want to be friends with. And no, that’s not me instantly friend-zoning him. I’m just stating a fact. 

We started off chatting on Bumble, and things were going pretty well. We had similar taste in music, movies, and general hobbies. He’s close with his family, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He didn’t judge me for saying that Twizzlers are my favorite candy. Plus, he balanced being on the “flirty but not sexual” line very well. Mac just seemed like a cool guy. 

After a while of talking on Bumble, we transitioned to text. He asked for my number, but made it clear I wasn’t obligated to do so if I wasn’t comfortable with that. I respect and appreciate that. I almost gave him my real number, but at the last minute decided to stick with Google Voice. Just in case, you know? 

Over text, we talked even more. He definitely seemed to have a good sense of humor and knew how to make fun of himself without making it sound like he’s just fishing for compliments. That’s something I rarely find in men, so it was a definite plus. I’m very attracted to men who know that they’re human and don’t take themselves too seriously. But, I also can’t stand when guys constantly put themselves down JUST to get me to compliment them. Confident but not arrogant, basically. 

Also, speaking of compliments, he almost immediately complimented my smile and my eyes. I personally think they’re my most attractive features. But, I feel like at least on dating apps, it’s usually a body part on my lower body that gets the most attention and compliments. Itt was nice to know that he was actually looking at my face in the photos. 

Another factor that’s very important to me with a future significant other is that they understand, appreciate, and at least kind of share my obsession with Marvel movies. If you didn’t know, I’m a huge superhero fan. My brother and I have seen almost every single MCU movie together. We always go within days of it being released, if not opening night. The few exceptions are when I was studying abroad – my brother waited for me to get home from Italy so we could see “Iron Man 3” together – “Dr. Strange,” and I think maybe one other movie. It’s a tradition for us (and always will be) so I need someone who understands why that’s a big thing to me and gets just as excited about new movies and TV shows as I do. Mac did. 

He also was fascinated that I used to work at Disney. He said loves the parks and the whole Disney-vibe. That’s another dealbreaker for me – you don’t need to be quite as big of a Disney fanatic as I am, but at least like it. I also just like when people show interest in something that I’m clearly very excited about talking about. He also told me he’d take me to a bar or somewhere to watch a Bruins game so I can finally understand more than the very basic rules of hockey. He’s a big hockey guy, so I thought that would be perfect.

So far, it seems like things were going fairly well, right? Well, they were. After a bit of talking, he asked me if I’d be up for going out with him that weekend, and I said yes. And not just because I needed material – I genuinely wanted to meet him in person and see what I thought. We picked a day and a general idea of where we’d meet. It seemed like things were on track for us to meet.


The Disappearance

And then, nothing. We had plans to meet Thursday after work. The Sunday before, we were having a great conversation about wines. Monday, I asked how his day was. Silence. I figured, it’s Monday, maybe a rough day, no worries. So I let it slide. Wednesday, I asked him if we were still on for the next day. More silence. By Thursday, I basically had a deadline that if he hadn’t said anything to me by noon, I wasn’t going out with him.

When noon came and went, I figured I should at least notify him that I was about to ghost him – karma, and all that – and pretty much just said that I wasn’t sure what happened, but no worries, and best of luck. It was like he’d disappeared into thin air – one minute he was there, having a great chat, next thing you know… poof. 

I wasn’t upset about it, really. I mean, I didn’t even know him yet. But it was just really strange. Considering on that same day, or maybe the day before, I had another Bumble match cancel our Friday date because he found my blog (yes, seriously) I thought that maybe Mac had found it, too. But he didn’t seem like the type to get worked up about it, so that didn’t seem right. I thought maybe he’d tried to do some social media stalking and couldn’t. He didn’t have my real number, maybe he thought I was catfishing him. I definitely like to give people the benefit of the doubt and make excuses for their behavior, clearly. (And you wonder why I’ve been in so many toxic relationships.) 

For a hot second, I did think about saying something a little bit spicier about how it’s rude to ghost people. Then I watched that Netflix movie “Desperados” and thought maybe he’d been in an accident like the guy in that movie. So I didn’t even bother. But, it was weird. I had gone from having 3 dates scheduled that weekend to 1 – and I ended up canceling it because of the craziness of the past couple of weeks. 

So Mac was another bust. His loss, right? I did look up news reports that weekend just to satisfy my own curiosity and see if maybe something had happened to him, but I couldn’t find anything with the limited knowledge I had. My money is on him not being quite as easy-going as he seemed and finding my blog, or thinking I was catfishing when he couldn’t find my Snapchat or Instagram or anything with the phone number he had. 


Mini-Tangent Ahead

This brings me to my next point. I realize that my having this blog may deter some men. I knew that when I started this, and I did it anyway. And some of you know the details of the guy who canceled on me, but I’m not going to go into it on here because it’s not worth it. 

But I do wonder – do the guys who don’t (or won’t) like that I have this blog not realize that I only write about the crazy stories? I mean, how many people do you know that have had their date run off because of a ‘dying dolphin’? Or get sent photos of 9” long dildos at 6am? That’s funny!

crop person with flowers in hand
Alstroemeria is the friendship flower. <3
Photo by Skylar Kang on Pexels.com

And if it’s not a crazy, funny story, it’s a “lesson learned” story. I’m trying to help girls (and guys) realize that they are not alone in the heartbreaks. They’re not the only girl who has been cheated on, or (unknowingly) cheated with. They’re not the only girl who’s had a guy make them feel like they’re nothing more than a body. I’m not afraid to own up when I make a mistake or have some sort of lapse in judgment in a relationship. Those are real human feelings that happen to EVERYONE. Yes, this is cathartic and fun for me, but I do it more in hopes that maybe I’m helping one person out there realize that they’re not alone in the way that they feel. 

To be honest, I have a lot more that I could say about that matter in general, but again, not worth it. Really, if there’s any guy – past, present, or future – who judges me because of this, it’s a bullet dodged. Whether it’s because of the knowledge that they’ll probably end up doing something that’ll put them on it, or some sort of sexist/misogynistic view, if they want to take themselves out of the running, be my guest. 

Moving on!


Pandemic Dating

I’m going to be honest, y’all. Dating has sucked lately. I’ve been open-minded, and I’m still very optimistic and hopeful that I’m going to meet someone amazing soon, but it’s been nearly impossible to find a decent guy on the apps lately. I even upgraded my Bumble account for a month to see if that helped. Nope.

In the past few months, I think there’s been maybe one guy that I’ve been at least somewhat excited about. He turned out to be a major workaholic so I accepted a while ago that the chances of him making an effort to meet me are slim to none. No offense, but I feel like if you’re not going to put in any effort, you shouldn’t be on an app saying you’re looking for a relationship.

I feel like I do better in person anyway. I’ve never thought I was going to meet the love of my life on an app (okay, maybe once). There’s definitely some sort of organic, natural meet-cute in my future. But with the way Boston is right now, it’s been extremely difficult to meet anyone. I’m running out of stories because I haven’t been on a date in forever, I haven’t been able to go out and meet people in normal environments. Not even friends – I finally resorted to Bumble BFF.  Overall, and I know I’m not alone with this, it’s just kind of been not very fun.

Maybe I’m the only one who saw the masterpiece that is the Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor movie, but the scene where she’s just yelling that she’s “so bored” has been an accurate representation of my feelings towards my love/social life lately. I need some excitement. So I’m going to make a conscious effort to go find some, regardless of the circumstances of my city’s rules. But still staying safe, obviously. 


So that brings us to the end of this week’s chapter. Will I be back next week? I honestly don’t know yet, if I have some inspiration then yes, if not, then stay tuned for whatever excitement I’m able to find and create for myself soon.

In the meantime, I hope everyone is staying happy, healthy, and safe! Sending you all the positive vibes!

P.S. What do you think of the redesign? Let me know!

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