Chapter 21: The Boyfriend

To get it out of the way early – no, this guy was not my boyfriend. I mean, me, have an ACTUAL boyfriend? Adorable. Ridiculous.

He was someone’s boyfriend, but not mine. And to get THAT out of the way, no, he was not cheating on his girlfriend with me. He’s – well, let’s just get into it, shall we?

Logan and I matched on Tinder. I swiped right on him because he’s cute, very tall, and from the same city as me (North Carolina pride). It wasn’t until after we matched and we got to talking that I noticed a rather big detail I had missed on Logan’s profile – he’s in an open relationship. 

I immediately asked him to clarify what exactly this meant because Lord knows I do not need to get myself into any more messes. He was very open and informative about it, explaining how he and his long-distance girlfriend had made this decision, what was and was not allowed in their, shall we say, “extracurricular activities,” and overall was just very chill with me asking questions about it, wanting to make sure that his girlfriend was cool with him talking to other girls, and deciding how I felt about it and if I wanted to be involved in this little thing. 

Ultimately, I decided that best case scenario, I might get a good story out of it, and worst case, I could make a new friend, because actually, I really liked Logan as a person. I think knowing that there wasn’t any room for any romantic feelings made it a lot easier to become friends, and we did have a lot in common. We talked a lot, and he’s smart and funny, so really I was more into the idea of making a new friend. 

But of course, he had other ideas. Not that I was one to complain about them. Things got a bit dirty and flirty and definitely heated up, but again, it was just for fun, and I have no filter or shame, so it carried on.

Overall, Logan began to prove himself a pretty cool guy. He honestly treats me a lot better than most guys I’ve interacted with have, and seems to actually care about me as a human. Though he did more or less try to pimp me out to a very desperate friend of his one time, even though his friend was NOT doing a great job of selling himself to me (not like a prostitute, just like convincing me to go out with him), I really do think it was mostly because he knew I was in a dry spell and he was trying to help me out and make me feel wanted again.

Remember the friend that I mentioned texting The Snapper? That was Logan. 

Whether or not he had pure motives for doing so, I think he really was just trying to help me get out of my shell more, and help me get more experience even if he didn’t benefit from it (though he clearly wanted to benefit from it at some point). We had a lot of interesting talks, and like I said, we have a good amount in common so it was always fun to talk with him. He was also super cool anytime that I said I wanted to take a technology break, or when I went to Austin and barely had my phone on, or if I went through a phase where we just didn’t talk as much – he’s not the least bit possessive or jealous or anything and just told me to have fun and he’d talk to me when I was back. I mean, he does let his girlfriend go out with other guys, so, that would be weird if he was possessive over me. 

I know I’m going to get shit for this, but we’ve never actually met. I promise I know he’s a real person, and we have made plans to meet before but then I bailed (his girlfriend was there and I panicked about what they probably had in mind and did not think that was something I’d ever be ready for), and then I was been in Florida for like 15 years basically, but we will meet. And honestly, again I’m going to get shit for this, but, I like who I am and I know what I’m confident and comfortable with and if someone uses my openness against me, I think that says a lot more about them than it does about me. 

I’m actually talking to Logan as I write this (we catch up every so often during all this corona madness) and being reminded of his sense of humor especially as it relates to his self-esteem. He’s a Leo, if that explains it.  (If you weren’t aware of my process, which I wouldn’t expect you to be, I write each entry three weeks before it’s meant to be posted and then edit the week before, and again, he and I are talking during this). 

The only time things got weird was when I started talking to The Rollercoaster (coming up soon!), who I had really strong feelings for so I was trying to be “good” and told Logan we had to cool it with our talks, and that I wanted to see where it went. He essentially told me that was fine but if I was ending that part of our friendship it was on me and not to come back crying when this guy inevitably broke my heart. I didn’t think The Rollercoaster would (but spoiler alert, he did) so I was willing to take that risk. And of course, when I told him things didn’t work out – fully prepared to just be friendly and nothing more – because men just cannot resist my beauty and charm (and butt), he was actually the one to come back to me, really.

So, we’re still friends. When I’ve cried and complained about guys being mean and hurting me, he’s listened and actually offered decent advice. He has a girlfriend, yet has actually invested more time and effort into getting to know me and making me feel heard than most other guys. He remembers more about me than guys I’ve actually gone on several dates with. And yet I have zero romantic feelings for him. I honestly would not be surprised if we somehow became and stayed best friends. 

And before anyone says anything, yes, I am 100% aware that I get into the weirdest relationships ever. It’s kind of my thing.

In any case, we do FINALLY have plans to meet soon but probably not by the time of posting. However, I will update you when we finally do. Here’s hoping he’s all I’ve cracked him up to be in person. Wish me luck!

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