Shortly before I eventually ended up leaving Orlando, I was going through a bit of a dry spell and decided to get my booty back on Tinder. I was looking for a reason to stay, or another reason to go, and figured that if nothing else, maybe Tinder would give me a good story to leave with. It did.

I matched with this guy, who I’ll call Diego because I honestly couldn’t even remember his name when I started writing this chapter (I did remember it later, though), who was a bartender at a place in Downtown Orlando. And let’s just say that he was VERY aggressive. Not in a gross way, just very upfront with his attraction to me and what he was looking for. And, I liked the attention. We matched not too long after I had officially cut off and blocked Christian and returned the sweatshirt I’d had for years to a mutual friend that ended up being collateral damage in the break-up, had my roommate sit with me while I shredded all the birthday cards and letters, and defriended anyone who was his friend. So, I was ready for something new to take my mind off of things. 

By the way, if you’re wondering what sparked my FINALLY ending that relationship, I said “no” to him coming over one night and then after he ignored me for three days, he finally told me that I wasn’t worth his time or his friendship if I wasn’t going to sleep with him anymore. Lovely, right?

Anyway, enough about him. Diego and I started talking, and he started asking me to come over to his place very quickly. But being the Law and Order: SVU lover that I am, I knew there was no way I was going over to some stranger’s home without meeting in person. So after talking for awhile and getting to know each other more, and starting to feel more comfortable with meeting in person, I kept feeling myself be more and more tempted to take him up on his offer, but ultimately the part of me that does not want to end up as the inspiration for an SVU episode kept winning out.

So finally, one day while I was at the mall and he was teasing me about not coming over yet, I  asked him what he was up to. He was at Best Buy. Perfect, I was at the mall not far from Best Buy. So I told him to stay there and I’d meet him in the parking lot. And that’s exactly what we did. 

He was a bit shorter than I expected, but cute. Very buff, and he had very nice eyes. He was very confident but didn’t seem to take himself too seriously, so it kind of balanced out. We talked for a bit, and I felt more comfortable around him having seen him face to face and getting a better feel for him. I told him that I would like to get tacos or something before hanging out alone, so we decided that at some point, that would eventually happen. But, I wasn’t planning on staying in Orlando for too long since I’d put in my two weeks, so I told him it would have to be sooner rather than later.

The night of my last day of working at Disney, one of my best friends invited me out with her boyfriend and some friends to a bar downtown where during certain hours, you paid $20 for all you could eat and all you could drink wine, beer, or their signature drink. Coincidentally, this was the same bar that Diego worked at, so I told him I’d be there that night. If you know anything about Orlando traffic, you won’t be surprised to learn that it took us about 45 minutes longer than expected to get there. So by the time we arrived, all the food was gone. Which meant that if I was still paying $20 to get in (which I think is ridiculous), I would be getting my money’s worth in drinks.

This was a bad idea for many reasons. First of all, I’m a lightweight. I have one glass of wine and feel tipsy (despite my stories on here, I really don’t drink often so when I do, it hits me). Secondly, I hadn’t eaten dinner because I was expecting to eat there. And thirdly, because I knew the bartender – and he was desperately trying to get in my pants – the small cup given to me at the door when I handed over my $20 was quickly replaced by the larger cup he gave me and was most likely spiking with more alcoholic beverages than the Pinot Grigio and sangria I requested. So I went quite a bit harder than I anticipated.

My friends and I left and went to another place, where Diego began incessantly texting me telling me he was off work and could take me home if I wanted. Unfortunately for him, no matter how much I’ve had to drink I always know how to take care of myself and keep my head about me, so I knew going home with someone I’d only met once when I was in that state was not a good idea. I was also too busy throwing up straight liquid at this bar (once on my friend, I’m still so sorry about that) to respond to him right away so he eventually got tired of waiting for me and left on his own.

The next morning, I texted him to apologize for not responding and told him I hadn’t been feeling well so my friend’s boyfriend (our Designated Driver) had driven me home with them and dropped me off late, where I went right to bed. I was finishing up moving out that day before my family came up for a quick visit, so I pretty much knew it was never going to happen. Considering he got pissy when I told him that no, going home with someone I don’t know well when extremely drunk does NOT sound like my idea of fun, that was more than okay with me. We followed each other on Instagram for a bit before I did my next purge, and that was the last I ever saw or heard from The Bartender.